


I hate you, I love you. If only I could turn back time.

by Etheriei



Category: The Young and the Restless
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-26 18:28:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16686658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Etheriei/pseuds/Etheriei
Summary: A what if to the most recent episodes... I'm not going to give spoilers. Read it if you dare but this isn't cannon (as in it hasn't happened ..... yet)





	I hate you, I love you. If only I could turn back time.

Mariah felt uncomfortable in Tessa’s embrace and she hated it, because at the same time her heart burned brightly for this woman. How could it not? It didn’t want to think of Tessa as anything but amazing. Her body craved Tessa’s touch but her mind was warring with it and that traitor of a heart.

A multitude of emotions were swirling around in her head as she tried to be genuine in hugging Tessa back. She could feel Tessa’s tears falling down and slowly creating a wet space (almost a dam) on her shoulder. It hurt to be here again but Mariah had to admit it felt good to be back as well. She truly did love Tessa but this betrayal (yet another one) she didn’t think she could move on from.

And now she had a part to play herself. It would be hard. She sighed internally and pulled Tessa closer as she felt the other woman tremble slightly. Images of happier times (and sad ones) flitted through her mind while she patted Tessa’s back gently.

How many times had Tessa let her down now? And now this.

How?

Just how was it possible to say one loved someone and then repeatedly lie and do things behind their backs. But her heart told her that she was just human just like herself.

Bringing up her own history. The cult, the lies and backstabbing and hate she had for Sharon way back then. She wasn’t much better than Tessa. How could she judge her? But yet her mind and her pride didn’t want to accept this though and carried on bringing up all Tessa’s failing and shortcomings. In a moment of weakness, Mariah felt herself relax into Tessa’s arms and bury her nose as far as she could into Tessa’s top. Her hands clenched tighter around the fabric of Tessa’s shirt much like a reflex.

Eventually when they both seemed to have calmed down, Mariah guided them back to the couch. She eased herself down and Tessa followed. They sat in silence for an hour. Neither of them said anything. She could feel Tessa’s eyes on her though. Soft, steady and wary as she gazed up at her. Those same eyes grew heavy with sleep and she began drifting off to sleep. Every now and then Mariah found Tessa looking at her through sleepy eyes. It felt like Tessa was double checking if Mariah was still there with her. She honestly didn’t blame her. If it wasn’t for what Mariah herself had promised her mother and the other four women, she wouldn’t have even been here and she most certainly wouldn’t have let herself be so weak like she was now.

 

At midnight Mariah felt her own eyelids grow heavy with sleep. Maybe it was the stress that she was under along with the heartbreak and fighting with herself, but she felt that she hadn’t been sleeping for weeks. She thought to herself, as she half-heartedly wrestled off the waves of sleep, at least there was a silver lining to this. A peaceful sleep always seemed to come easy when Tessa had her arms wrapped around her.

 

Mariah awoke in the not so early hours of the morning. It turns out she had overslept. Her arms reached out for something that they missed but came up empty handed. Her heart rate picked up as she opened her sleepy eyes. Yep, there was no sign of Tessa anywhere near her and neither was she in the flat. There were no smells of breakfast been made either. She felt a heaviness suddenly take hold of her heart as she pulled herself up and off the sofa. She dragged herself to the kitchen counter and put the coffee machine on. She had to quickly grab the edges of the wooden counter to steady herself when a wave of nausea hit her. It was then that she saw a large box with a small envelope on it, sitting right under her face. The envelope had her name written on it in Tessa’s neat handwriting.

 

She glared at it for a full five minutes debating what she should do. She wanted to be stubborn and ignore it. She felt slightly slighted by Tessa leaving so early without even a goodbye kiss.

 

Shaking her head as if to admonish her silly and childish thoughts, she picked it up. Who was she kidding here? She was not going to give Tessa another chance, this was all just one big farce that she had to keep up.

Upon tearing the letter, a small orange sticky note fell out.

 

 _Breakfast is in the oven. I hope it is still warm_ _J_

_I Luv you ~ <3_

She smirked to herself. She would definitely throw that breakfast out. She made her way to the oven. It was still on, keeping her breakfast warm for her it seems. Sigh. Why did Tessa have to be like this. It would all be easier if she just carried on being her wretched lying self and leave out the caring bits.

A slight curiosity grew on her as she stared through the blackness of the oven door. It couldn’t hurt to peek. She would still throw it in the trash afterwards. With this declaration she slowly removed the extra plate.

The smells that now wafted out were just too delicious to resist and even though she had told herself not to, she found herself wolfing it down. Bacon was her weakness ok and Tessa had come to know that too soon. Once finishing it she put her plate and cutlery in the sink to wash later and came back to the letter.

She stared at it for a minute or two debating whether to open it or to just ignore it but she finally opened it up. Inside the envelope on a very textured paper were two paragraphs. Just two paragraphs. She smiled wickedly to herself. Tessa really couldn’t have anything good to say if it was so short.

 

She was proved otherwise. The letter was short and sweet in its content.

Tessa had written that in the box that this letter had been attached to were all the tapes and the recordings and everything she had ever used for blackmail. She said Mariah could do whatever she wanted with them. She felt the tremors in her heart before she could stop them.

With this, how could she now betray Tessa? She still loved her. Her heart was swelling with pride because Tessa had for once chosen to do something right but her brain had no interest. She picked out a new outfit for the day and hurriedly put the clothes on before picking up the box and making her way out of the flat.

 

Mariah rushed into her car and almost had two accidents as she sped down the roads. The traffic lights seemed to like her today. She came to a sudden stop at her mother’s ranch and bundled herself out of the car with the box held rather recklessly as she ran up to the front door.

She was about to put her spare key into the lock and open it herself when she thought better of it. Faith wouldn’t be around today since it was a Saturday, so she instead banged on the door. It would be better to get her mother’s attention this way rather than surprising her inside or having to wake her up.

 

She heard a rustling inside and some cursing too. She supposed she was not the only one that had overslept on this fine morning.

 

Her mother’s head soon popped out with a full head of messy hair and sleep swollen eyes.

“Mariah” she exclaimed rather breathlessly “what on earth are you doing here and making such a racket too?”

“Mom” Mariah pushed her way into the flat now and placed the box on the coffee table in the lounge.

She watched as Sharon wearily looked at the box and then back at her.

“It’s all the blackmail material.” Mariah stated in a rush. “From Tessa” “It’s all in here”

Sharon looked doubtful but drew nearer to said box and took out its contents. It turned out that Tessa knew how to organize things and had left an inventory of everything she had made as blackmail material and where it was and what it looked like.

Sharon quickly rushed back to her room to get her mobile phone and promptly began to call one of the other ladies to arrange an emergency meeting.

As she watched her mother leave in a hurry and without a word to her, Mariah felt a lone tear slide down her cheek. She felt her mother had been a little cold. There were no thanks given but maybe that was because of all the stress that her mother was in.

 

She turned around and walked herself out of the house not forgetting to lock up after herself.

 

She found herself aimlessly walking through the streets of Genoa City.

She had completed her mission. Now it was time to decide what to do about Tessa. Should she let her in again or leave? The latter she was struggling with. She felt that if she had to do that, it would break her but maybe she deserved that for her own sins and for being so gullible.

Just then she heard a shot. It echoed in the small streets around her.

It had obviously been nearby and Mariah….. being Mariah didn’t run from the sound. No, of course not, she ran towards it.

 

Out of breath she came upon an alley way. A woman was standing above a figure. As Mariah sneaked closer, the woman’s features became more clear and more familiar. She froze as she saw who it was and flinched as the woman blew her gun off in a victorious gesture. She stared at Victoria. There were no bullet holes decorating her body so then who had she shot. It was obvious by Victoria’s careless actions that Mariah had not been spotted. Mariah followed her retreat with eyes only and when no figure could be seen anymore her eyes slowly surveyed the ground before her.

 

Suddenly she lost all ability to breathe. Her heart stopped beating for a few seconds and then frantically caught up with itself not a minute too soon.

There, not four feet ahead, lay an all too familiar body that was slowly being surrounded in a pool of blood. She didn’t need to examine it up close to know whose it was.

Mariah couldn’t move faster. Her hands were soon all over the body. Desperately trying to get a reaction.

**Something.**

  A    n    y    t    h   I   n    g.

She heard herself yelling into thin air but to no avail. She clung to the blood soaked leather jacket and whispered sweet nothings in an ear that had no ability to hear anymore. She clutched at the bullet wound trying so hard to keep the blood from running out. Stuffing her jacket into it in her attempts to curb the bleeding

Memories of a long forgotten CPR course came to her and she started doing compressions. But there was no life in that corpse. It had been snuffed out from her minutes before with that one bullet. Eventually Mariah had to admit that it was no use. It was too late.

She had chosen her loyalties and what had it got her? Now she had to live with the consequences.

She gnashed her teeth as she stared at the pale as ash face in her hands. She didn’t care that the body was cold as she buried her face into the crook of a cold neck, breathing in what was left of the other body and struggling to keep herself from choking to death from her tears that never seemed to end.

 

Sweet Tessa, Her love, her life, her life line. Gone just like that.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey..... I decided to write this because well I'm not really on Mariah's side at the moment. Aren't we all human and do wrong things and honestly from the looks of the video of the "Coven" murderers she really didn't do anything wrong and I'm sure Mariah would have done the same if the tables were turned and Tessa was in danger.
> 
> xD I hope it doesn't happen in the show though... I still have my doubts that Teriah will last much longer though. There's only so much a plot line can slander a character's character right?
> 
> and seriously I don't have any doubt that Victoria is capable of murder and I don't even know her storyline haha.


End file.
